so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
