Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
