I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
