i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
