nut hugger
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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