is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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