Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I wish life had little blips of pornography
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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