It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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