She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I love you. Go after that dick
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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