What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
