i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
