is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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