Your face is a jimmy john
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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