Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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