Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
