Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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