Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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