I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
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I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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