I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
