My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
