So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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