so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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