I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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