Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So much rum. So many feels.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
