i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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