shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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