I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
