I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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