Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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