If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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