ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
