it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
