He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
