i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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