Banned from zoo.
Again?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
