go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
