I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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