Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
