Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
