me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
