Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
