is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
