I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
