the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
