you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
