If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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