Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
