My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
