if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
