Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
