did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
