problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
