you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
