I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
