I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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