Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
