just tell him i said nine months
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
