i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
