of course. lets lasso hookers.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
