You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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