the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize