I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
