Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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