y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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