I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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