I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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