The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
