so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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