real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
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