i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
