I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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