whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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