I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
